3 Core Values
There are three core values that deeply inform my work and my life: authenticity, competence, and non-judgment.
Authenticity
Authenticity means my work is in line with my identity. There is no cognitive dissonance. I’m the same person at home with my family that I am in my work as a therapist. Of course, my roles are different, but who I am as a person never changes. Being authentic means knowing my true identity and responding out of that identity, not from a place of seeking approval from others. If I’m authentic, I’m genuine. I know who I am, what I like, what I need, and move through the world with that knowledge informing my interactions with others. When I’m myself, it gives my clients the freedom to be themselves, too.
As a Christian, my identity is rooted in my status as a child of God, created in his image. This deep understanding allows me to approach my work in humility, kindness, and truth. It means that I don’t lie or respond out of a need to be liked by my clients. It means I stand by my own convictions while honoring that my clients don’t have to share those convictions to be loved and valued by me.
Authenticity means I’m honest about my doubts and fears; honest about not having it all figured out. It means being humble in discussions of faith and always asking more questions instead of giving definitive answers.
Being true to this core value of authenticity in my practice means I know I won’t be everyone’s cup of tea and that’s ok. Not only is it ok, but it’s to be expected and honored.
Competence
Competence is foundational. If I’m going to put myself out there as someone you should listen to, you need to be able to trust that I’m both competent as a clinician and a competent guide in faith.
Being a competent clinical social worker means that I have the education and training to back up my work. It also means I have valuable clinical experience that has allowed me to put into practice the training I’ve received - knowing theory translates into being able to help women. Competence to me also means I have had real lived experience, have done the work of healing trauma, continue to engage in unlearning unhealthy coping mechanisms, and improving healthy coping strategies.
Being a competent clinical social worker who specializes in serving Christian women means that I’m a committed believer who has studied scripture and seeks to live out the principles learned there. It means that I’m not only approaching my work through the lens of psychology, but also through the lens of faith and scripture.
When you go to a physician, or call an a/c repairperson, or take your car in to the auto shop, you assume of competence. These people are experts in their field. They’ve proven that they are capable. Being capable and competent, however, doesn’t assume perfection. Doctors, a/c repairpersons and auto mechanics all make mistakes. Sometimes they don’t get it right. But the assumption is that this is the exception not the rule. When you go to a therapist for help, whether it be through engaging with practical tips offered through social media, a student in an online course, or as a client in a therapeutic relationship, you are correct in assuming competence. I want to live up to that for you. Am I perfect? Absolutely not! (Just ask my husband and sons!) But I’m committed to continuing to learn and grow, so I can be ready to serve and support you on your journey of better mental health.
Non-judgment
We all judge. We critique. We analyze. We compare. Choosing to be non-judgmental means that I make a conscious decision in my life and my work to assume the best in those I interact with. It means I choose to withhold judgment and begin with an open heart.
I think this is one reason why so many of us have benefited from counseling. It’s so refreshing to have conversations with a person who isn’t constantly judging our thoughts or behaviors, who asks us questions and is continually curious instead of critical. Ultimately, these interactions with our therapist can help us to begin to take this approach with ourselves. You see, it’s been my experience that I judge others when I am in the habit of doing the same to myself. As I learn to be kind and compassionate to myself, curious about my thoughts and actions rather than critical, I learn to be that way with others.
We as Christians aren’t great at this. We ought to be the best at it because we have the best Teacher. Jesus told us pretty plainly “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” (Matthew 7:1-2). In the gospels, we see over and over a spirit of curiosity in Christ. A man who asked questions and allowed people to come to conclusions on their own. A man who listened and guided gently. A man who was the first person to befriend someone others thought weren’t worthy.
And yet, we are so quick to point out the faults of others. In Matthew 7:3-5, Jesus continues “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.” You see, it’s ridiculous, really. We’re acting not out of a place of love or concern, but rather arrogance. To judge others, we must essentially ignore our own shortcomings.
Authenticity, competence, and non-judgment are my deeply held values. Do I get it right every time? Absolutely not. But I will continue to wrestle with it, to make choices daily to be genuine, reliable, open-hearted, curious, and assume the best. And I pray others will do the same for me.