How to explain anxiety to a loved one
Living with anxiety is challenging in many ways but being in a relationship with someone who doesn’t personally understand anxiety can be especially difficult. Whether that person is a friend, family member, or partner, it can be frustrating to explain what anxiety or panic feels like to someone who has never experienced it. Here are a few ideas, along with some suggested phrasing, to help you begin the conversation.
Explain what anxiety is—and what it is not.
“Anxiety isn’t just feeling worried—it’s an intense, sometimes overwhelming feeling of fear or stress, even when there’s no real danger.”
“It’s like my brain is stuck in overdrive, constantly scanning for threats, even when everything is okay.”
Describe how anxiety feels—how you experience it in your body.
“Sometimes, it feels like my heart is racing, my chest is tight, and I can’t catch my breath.”
“Other times, it’s just this constant loop of ‘what-ifs’ that won’t turn off.”
“It’s like my body is preparing for something bad to happen, even if I know logically that everything is fine.”
Explain what triggers your anxiety.
“Certain situations, like unexpected changes, conflict, or feeling overwhelmed, can make my anxiety worse.”
“It’s not always predictable—I might be fine one day and really anxious the next for no clear reason.”
Share how they can support you.
“When I’m anxious, I don’t always need advice—I just need reassurance and patience.”
“Sometimes, just reminding me that I’m safe and that this feeling will pass helps a lot.”
“If I seem withdrawn, it’s not because I’m upset with you—it’s just that my mind is overloaded.”
Emphasize that anxiety is not a choice.
“I don’t want to feel this way, and I’m working on managing it, but it’s not something I can just ‘snap out of.’”
Yes, living with anxiety is challenging, and it can be especially lonely when you feel misunderstood by those closest to you. However, helping your loved ones better understand how you’re feeling can lead to more empathy and deeper connections.